Fear Is a Four Letter Word
by Nagasha
Summary: A case study in Sergeant Tamora Jean Calhoun, as shown in a series of four letter words.


**I hope all the Americans here enjoyed their Memorial Day weekend, I know I did! We drove all the way out to New York! Which meant... I had a long car ride with which I used to write this. **

**It's a bit of a character study for Tamora Calhoun, based off her line "Fear is a four letter word, ladies." I then started to wonder about other four letter words, and how they rotate around her. I decided to narrow the field down to thirty two little mini-drabbles, which is Calhoun's fours and Felix's eights (being 8-bit and all) put together, which meant sadly that some had to be left of the cutting room floor.**

**I also decided to put in a bit of emphasis on the four letter words and the title words, as a bit of an experiment. If you see any words I missed, or anything of that nature, please let me know so that I may remedy the situation.**

**With that, enjoy! Or some other four letter word with the same meaning!**

* * *

1.) **Dark:**

At first, it was **dark**. _Then_ the lights _came_ on, and she remembered everything.

There is a _part_ of her _that_ wishes everything stayed **dark**.

2.) **Brad:**

She didn't mourn him, because he never really existed. _Just_ a few scraps of _data made_ to _give _her depth. To her, there was nothing worth mourning about.

Maybe if she did, it would _have been_ easier to _move _on.

3.)** Hate**:

She wanted to **hate **him, for making her _feel this_ way, so _weak_ and helpless and vulnerable. But she _just_ couldn't.

And _that made_ her _want _to **hate** him _more_.

4.) **Time**:

They say that **time** heals all wounds. But she had _only been_ plugged in one _week_, so her _pain _was fresh.

_Good_ thing she found something else to _heal_ her.

5.) **Mist:**

The big lug's horrible breath _must have_ fogged the glass of the helmet, making it _hard_ to see the differences in his face _that _she would _have_ otherwise _seen_.

That's what she would_ tell _herself later, at least. _Even_ though she knows _that_ it was her own anger_ that_ obscured her view, not breath on the visor.

6.) **Lust:**

_When _she first saw _that look_ in his eyes, the almost _over_ the top adoration in his eight bit _face_, she thought _that_ it was _just _**lust**. She was programmed as overly sexualized, _with_ anatomy_ that_ was nearly impossible for any '_real_ world' _girl._

She chuckles now, whenever she remembers _that_. It seems so silly to think about him as _that kind_ of **lust**ful cad, now.

7.) **Nuts:**

He... He HAD to be **nuts**! Bringing a Cybug out of _Hero's Duty_?! He fought _with_ the troops for at least a battle; he HAD to _know_ the danger he unleashed!

8.) **Call:**

As _soon_ as he explained _that_ it was his job to watch out for the big lug, she couldn't not let him _come with_ her. Her reasoning was_ that_ he was looking for his game's threat, and she was looking for hers. _They _had mutual goals, and could _thus help_ one another.

It was only later that she finally admitted to herself that she wanted somebody who could understand the weight of the burden that rested on her shoulders.

9.) **Pull:**

She couldn't _deny that_ something changed _when they were_ in the Taffy Swamp. Whether it was because he was quick enough to figure out the key to the Laffy Taffy, or selfless enough to be willing to get punched again and again _hard _enough to stun a Cybug _just _to escape, she_ just_ couldn't_ look _at him in the _same_ light.

Might _just have been _the damned Laffy Taffy, though.

10.) **Fear:**

There was nothing but a blank, meaningless **fear** when he said _that name_, something raw and primal that wanted him _gone,_ to let her relive the trauma on her own.

She _just_ managed to fly_ away_ from him _just _before the tears started to _fall_.

11.) **Duty**:

She had her mission: _find_ and destroy all Cybugs. And _that _was_ what_ she was going to do.

As _long_ as she _kept_ doing her **duty**, she can ignore the _ache_ in her heart.

12.) **Hope:**

She found the signal, all she had to do was destroy _them_ and...

13.) **Less:**

...Oh, _shit._

...She was going to _need _bigger guns.

14.) **Rage:**

She _came_ to_ warn_ the citizens about the threat coming upon _them_,_ when_ she saw the big lug. Her **rage** overcame her training, and she couldn't _help_ but march _over _there and _grab_ him by the collar.

"Do you _have_ any _idea what_ you've _done_?!"

15.) **Last:**

_This_ was it. Her **last **battle. There was no way she could survive the onslaught of the Cybug hoards, nor did she intend to. To survive would _mean _giving up, and leaving behind the little girl who was somehow unable to leave the game.

She was going to die a _hero_, doing her _duty_.

16.) **Drop:**

Her opinion on the big lug _just kept_ **drop**ping and **drop**ping the longer this mission _kept _going. The lug broke into her _game_, impersonated a soldier, _made _off with a shuttle and a Cybug, led her on _this wild_ goose chase and worst of all, stole a medal _that_ was in no way earned.

_Then _she saw, there in the distance, the giant bottle erupt,_ foam_ shooting upwards _into_ the darkened sky. Somehow, as the _bugs _started to be drawn towards the makeshift Beacon, she could _tell that_ the big lug was behind it.

Her opinion on the big guy _went_ up a little after _that_.

17.) **Kiss:**

Despite all of her preprogrammed memories, she had never _been_ **kiss**ed before. Not in backstory, not in _real life_.

Judging by the awkwardness of the **kiss**, and the way he uncertainly tried to _move_ his tongue _away from_ her mouth,_ she'd_ be willing to bet he never **kiss**ed anybody before _this_ either.

That's_ okay_; _she'd_ be willing to practice _with_ him for the _rest_ of their lives.

18.) **Love:**

She thought _that_ she was too _much_ of a sensible person to believe in **love**. _True_, she was in **love** with Brad, but _that_ was _just_ preprogrammed emotions, all artificial, nothing she could _help_. _Real_ **love** was _just_ a _myth_, _like_ a perfect family or a loving _home_.

But _she'd_ be damned if his smile didn't _make_ her heart _skip_ a _beat._

19.) **Date:**

_They_ didn't **date**, not in the way she **date**d _Brad_. _When_ she **date**d _Brad_, it was simply going through the checkpoints, _just_ going _from _point A to point B in order along a specific timeline.

_With _him, however, it was _many_ little moments; little things _that only_ had as much weight as _they _chose to put on it.

She definitely preferred the second time around.

20.) **Tiny:**

He was so **tiny;** she could _just pick_ him up and carry him around _with_ her.

So she did... _When_ nobody was watching, of course.

21.) **Glow:**

The first _time_ he talked about having 'honey**glow**s in his cheeks', she scoffed in her _head_, finding the _idea_ ridiculous.

She mentally retracted _that _statement when she _felt _her cheeks _heat _up _when _he first called her 'Tammy _Jean_'.

22.) **8-bit**:

Nobody _else _really understood why _such_ a complex, high definition woman with a _body like_ _Lara_ Croft and a personality_ like_ a grenade launcher would _want with _somebody so **8-bit**, plain, and all around simple man _like _him. Why would _such _a _high_ action _girl want_ to be _with such_ a _slow _paced guy?

_They_ didn't _know that_ was exactly why she loved him.

23.) **Name:**

"You _know,"_ she _said_ one day casually, bending _down_ beside her boyfriend as he knelt on the ground. "_When_ we get married, I'm keeping my _last _**name."**

He was so startled he dropped the _ring_ onto the ground.

24.) **Ring:**

Her first wedding **ring** was a glimmering circle of_ gold_, _with_ a dazzling diamond twisting eloquently out _from_ the middle. Beautiful, delicate... And utterly useless for battle. She _wore_ it under her glove for the first few fights, but it quickly snapped apart, the remains _left_ in the box it _came_ in, hidden under her mattress.

Her second wedding **ring** was a simple, thick _band_ of yellow that was presumed to be _gold_, with a fat, squat, square diamond stuck right in the middle. It was clunky, disproportionate... And it never _left_ her finger after he first put it on at the wedding.

25.) **Unit:**

She was programmed to _view_ a family as one solid **unit**. A husband, a _wife_ and two children, one boy and one _girl_.

For _them_, _they _had a husband (who acted _more_ _like what_ she was preprogrammed to think the _wife_ should act _like_), a _wife_ (who acted as the husband), a little_ girl_ (who ruled an entire kingdom, _even _if it was _just_ a kingdom of baked goods and candy) and _then they_ had the big lug, who fit in as _sort_ of an uncle.

It wasn't a typical family, but it worked.

26.) **Kids:**

Sometimes, he brought up the _idea_ of having **kids**. She responded by bringing him to Sugar Rush for the day to visit the racers, to see _what they_ would be getting _into_.

He tended not to ask her again for _some time_ after _that_.

27.) **Race:**

No matter how _many_ patrols she is slotted to do, or how _many_ rouge _bugs _the Beacon may _have left_ unchecked, she always drops everything and leaves as soon as a certain _time_ hits.

She _can't miss_ the little brat's **race.** Somebody had to cheer the kid on without wrecking half the stadium.

28.) **Sass:**

She was surprised when she found out the little _brat_ had_ such_ a big mouth. The big lug seemed pretty nervous _once_ the brat opened _said _mouth and started to **sass** her.

She_ only_ smirked; she liked _this _kid.

29.) **Aged:**

The little _brat _was older _than_ looks would imply. Not in programmed age; she was still _nine_, _just like_ the _rest _of the racers. Nor was it how _long_ the _game _had _been_ plugged in, although _Sugar Rush _had _been_ plugged in for a decent amount of_ time_, especially compared to _Hero's Duty_.

No, it was the way the kid spent those years all alone, _back_ against the_ wall_ and nobody there to _help _in any way.

She'd never admit it, but something about _that _makes her _want_ to _tuck_ the_ brat _in and _read_ the kid a bedtime story.

Too bad_ that _was Wreck-It's job.

30.) **Rule:**

"Hey, Wreck-It." She called out. The lug looked at her, _more_ annoyed **than** scared. She considered it a _step _up _from_ before. "What is it?"

She shoved a bucket and a mop in his oversized hands. "You still have to make up for that embarrassing show with the player. No soldier of mine gets away with breaking the rules without paying the price. Now get swabbing, rookie. I want to see the floor so shiny and bright, it attracts Cybugs like a Beacon!"

He grumbled about it, but she thought she saw the big guy smiling at the ground _when_ she was walking away.

31.) **Core:**

It was the little brat _that _suggested the _name._ "Because our games wouldn't work without us!" The kid claimed, and was right.

Without him or the big lug, _Fix-It Felix Jr._ is entirely unplayable, either without the hero or the villain. It was _what_ started the whole debacle in the first place, after all.

Without the_ brat_, the candy brained citizens of Sugar Rush are helpless and in a state of panic, _even _if it was for _just_ a day.

And without her... Without her, nobody can _lead _the Shooter. Kohut could, maybe, but the boys are there to see 'the hot chick in the armor', and the (hopefully a) rumor that if the _game_ is won, you get a _free game_ _with_ her in a bikini brings in the teenagers _like_ nobody's business. She might not be a player character, but _she's_ vital to her game's success.

It might not _have been_ the _most _stunning realization in the world, but it brought a smile to her _face_ for the whole day.

32.) **Four**:

"Who wants to go see what's going on in Street Fighters?"

"Ooh! Me first!"

"Me second, if only so you two don't get into any more trouble with Blanka."

"Me third!"

"Vanellope, you already said it once."

"Well, maybe I want to do it twice, Stinkbrain. It is my presidential decree."

She's the **four**th member of the family, the _baby when_ it comes to years plugged in. She's typically the **four**th _told when_ it comes to information, mostly by the sheer distance.

Tamora Calhoun is _used_ to being the first in whatever she does. But _she'd_ rather be the **four**th in _this_ group _then_ being the first and all alone.

"Me **four**th. Let's go ladies; we have ourselves a fighting game to get to."

"Hey!"

"Fine. Ladies and president."


End file.
